I Just Need You Now

It had ended years ago. But there were times, much like tonight, where Zak sat in his living room, a bottle of whiskey in his hand and photo albums open in front of him on his coffee table. He traced his fingers over his face. He had forgotten what it was like to smile like that.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

This album was from after they first met. They really had started out as just friends. Then it evolved into something more. Brief touches here. Stolen nights there. But it's not like it mattered anymore. Nick had ended it. Zak took a long swig of the amber liquid directly from the bottle. He grimaced as it burned its way down to his stomach.

They had spent so many nights together, saving money by staying in the same hotel rooms on their trips out ghost hunting. One night he woke up, his head resting on Nick's chest as he slept. Each night after that, they grew a little bolder. It started slow, but the flare of passion burned quickly lighting their souls on fire.

Zak picked up his phone, flipping it over in his hands. Looking over at the clock, he knew he would get Nick's voicemail.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now

The next photo album was their escapades filming the first season of Ghost Adventures. For a long time he had the picture of them, arms around each other down in the Sugar Shack, framed on his bedside table. That year had been paramount. They had been so young. Zak smiled, remembering the night at the insane asylum in New Jersey. He had nearly had a panic attack when Nick didn't answer him from inside the body drawer. For nearly an hour after that, Zak just held him, needing to feel his body against his own, feel his heartbeat against his chest to make sure he was still alive.

That next day, laying in bed curled against each other, Zak couldn't sleep. He held Nick's sleeping form in a vice grip, wondering what he would do if something happened to him? What if something took Nick away from him?

And then she did.

And I don't know how I can do without

He missed the nights that they had declared "man nights." Nick would spend the night at his place and Zak would lay him out, trying to make him forget the world on the other side of the door. He missed Nick casually strolling in, delaying going home after an errand to just come over and say hi. Nick hadn't even been to his new house yet. He hadn't had the chance to show Nick his dungeon that his new fling had built him. It was dark and depressing, death surrounded you when you walked in. Oddly, it made him feel like a whole person because in that dungeon, the void in his heart filled the whole area, leaving room for nothing else. Once a part becomes a whole, it becomes the new normal. Billy never asked Zak why no one but him ever went in the dungeon. He was thankful for that.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

Zak picked up his phone again and dialed. The worst that could happen would be that Nick answered and got angry with him. But what did he have to lose? What he had coveted the most was already lost. On the fourth ring, the line clicked. Expecting voicemail to pop up, Zak was surprised to hear Nick's voice. "Zak?"

Zak smiled sadly. "Hey…"

"Are you ok?" He sounded wide awake so he didn't feel that bad.

"Yeah… yeah… just you know… thinking. How are you? What are you still doing awake?" Zak closed the photo albums in front of him.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, then a ragged sigh. "Thinking about you."

Song: Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.  Song lyrics in italics.